Sometimes I feel like that pretty much sums it up for me.  Either things suck or existance is over.  Since I continue to exist things continue to suck.  Sometimes there are glimmers of hope, and I am continuously brought up out of slumps by the people I love.  Innevitably, though, things suck again.  Discontent fuels the human heart right?

Some people say we are the generation of discontent.  That our short attention spans have led us down a path where nothing can completely satisfy us. Maybe that is true, maybe it isn’t.  I just can’t shake the feeling I get every month or so that tells me that life really isn’t worth that much.  That maybe things would be better if I just ended it all.  And every time i try to evaluate it, I can never come up with a source of my discontent.  Maybe it is just the ebb and flow of human emotions.  And just because I have an over-active immagination and am completely internally melodramatic I can imagine, in those moments of discontent, me holding a handgun to my palette and pulling the trigger.

I have never seriously considered suicide.  The things never quite added up.  I couldn’t think of any valid reason why non-existance would be better than existance.  I will just have to be ferverent in my prayers that the calculation never points to it being viable.  Until that point, who do I share this with.  I have told Jasmine in the past and it just freaks her out.  It isn’t like we can afford a psychologist, and I am not 100% convinced I need it.  Still, I can’t shake this feeling that comes ever so often.

I dunno, maybe it just needed to be said to nobody for somebody to listen.